Wednesday, July 08, 2009

The Emasculation of Men

I just read this really nauseating piece of writing My First Abortion Party.

This is my response:

The other sadness here is the emasculation of men in the abortion debate. Because abortion is seen as a woman's issue, and only women have a say in what happens with their bodies, men are left by the sidelines wondering "Hey, what about me? I was there too, remember?". Which is its own curious reaction. If it was just sex that didn't really mean anything, and the result is a bunch of cells that don't really mean anything, then why are men concerned or even care at all what happens? It is because in their heart of hearts they KNOW there is a baby there, and that baby is their own flesh and blood. And any good and responsible man has an aching urge to protect their child, regardless of the circumstances of conception. But women, in their quest for freedom (from what, I'm still trying to understand), push the men away, removing their kinship to the "clump of cells", telling them they don't matter (when they did obviously, at least for the time it took to conceive), and that what they think, feel, desire is irrelevant.

And men are letting it happen.

Why more men don't speak up about abortion is beyond me. I'm not talking about those on the outside looking in, I'm talking about the men hurt by abortion. Those men who are brushed to the side of the road, and chucked in the bin to be seen as useless as the "clump of cells" sucked out on the abortionist's table. Why is it that more men are not speaking out? I can almost understand why some women would not/could not, due to the emotional pain and sheer embarrassment and shame of killing their child. But the men who are pushed aside and hurt just as deeply, sometimes even more so because they are left so powerless by the women who tell them they don't matter outside the bedroom - these men need to tell the world their side of the story.

So the result of this emasculation of men through abortion is generations of men who are no longer seen as protectors. No longer thought of as strong and dependable. Men who are only useful as needed, and have no redeeming value outside of providing a paycheck and a warm bed. We see this daily in the caricature of men in sitcoms and advertisements, movies and billboards. Men are now the butt of jokes, women are the strong and intelligent, men are weak and stupid.

And there are those who actually scratch their heads and wonder why we have exploding divorce, spouse abuse, child abuse, and runaway men who don't care for their children. These men were raised in a society to believe they are useless - and so they live up to that ideal. And this is even more prevalent among African American men - see the connection between higher abortion rates in that community? An ah-ha moment to be sure.

So - how do we break this cycle? The first reaction is to say get rid of abortion. But that just does not seem to be happening fast enough. I mean, in the mean time. What can we do to bring our men back to being men and not just pushed around sissies?

They need to speak out - I can't do it for them. No one can do it for them. The men who are pushed to the fringes of the party, kicked to the curb, and told to shut up and go away while their children are murdered (and told to pay for the process), need to SPEAK UP. They need to tell these women that they will NOT be dismissed and will not sit idly by while their babies are sucked out through tubes, they will NOT be made the patsy of disgusting "sperm donor" jokes.

Because if the men can't stand up for themselves - no one else can, or will.

If you know a man who is the victim of abortion, please ask him to speak out and help to put an end to this madness.